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| When ISN'T Betty White topical? |
In this current state of television we find ourselves in, I've split TV into two categories for my own viewing pleasure. "Pretty good" and "Good god, this is really, REALLY bad! Do people honestly watch this, no less are entertained by this? Like seriously. What the hell." Want to guess which list is longer? I'd tell you, but I really don't want to type that again.
Okay, simple enough, right? Watch the good ones and just ignore the rest. That's what most good-natured, civil folks would do, just ignore the negative things that don't really effect you and carry on with your life. But alas, I'm a blogger.
First off, I'd love to touch on reality television; I absolutely cannot stand the genre: American Idol (which has for the 6th year in a row topped Nielsen ratings), Teen Mom, that show about the douchebags who tan a lot... But what's the fun in shooting at the crap covered barn already riddled with bullet holes when I can snipe the Emmy off the picket fence a mile away? I mean sitcoms. Great analogy, right? Just call me Clever Sniper Blogger Marty. Please don't call me that.
Sitcoms, I have you figured out. Sure, I'll sit down and enjoy you every Thursday night on NBC instead of writing my blogs for AP Lang, and we might have a few laughs along the way, but don't think for a second I don't know how you work. After careful research (read: I watch a lot of TV), I have carefully broke down what I believe to have deduced as three tried and true elements to a successful sitcom.
1. Stupid, Unattractive Husband - Hot, Charming Wife
Why is this apparently essential to the average sitcom? Much like Newton's Laws of Motion, I really have no sure explanation; just indisputable evidence. My theory? Stupid, unattractive men make up a large portion of America's sitcom watching populace, and look towards their more successful, more fictional bretheren for inspiration.
Waiting for the apple to hit you in the head?
First off, I'd love to touch on reality television; I absolutely cannot stand the genre: American Idol (which has for the 6th year in a row topped Nielsen ratings), Teen Mom, that show about the douchebags who tan a lot... But what's the fun in shooting at the crap covered barn already riddled with bullet holes when I can snipe the Emmy off the picket fence a mile away? I mean sitcoms. Great analogy, right? Just call me Clever Sniper Blogger Marty. Please don't call me that.
Sitcoms, I have you figured out. Sure, I'll sit down and enjoy you every Thursday night on NBC instead of writing my blogs for AP Lang, and we might have a few laughs along the way, but don't think for a second I don't know how you work. After careful research (read: I watch a lot of TV), I have carefully broke down what I believe to have deduced as three tried and true elements to a successful sitcom.
1. Stupid, Unattractive Husband - Hot, Charming Wife
Why is this apparently essential to the average sitcom? Much like Newton's Laws of Motion, I really have no sure explanation; just indisputable evidence. My theory? Stupid, unattractive men make up a large portion of America's sitcom watching populace, and look towards their more successful, more fictional bretheren for inspiration.
Waiting for the apple to hit you in the head?
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| The Simpsons |
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| Still Standing |
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| According To Jim |
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| King of Queens |
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| Family Guy |
2. The Contradiction Joke
Maybe you've never realized this, most haven't, but quite possible over half of all sitcom jokes follow one basic formula. I have dubbed it "The Contradiction Joke", and after I point this out I promise you will never find a sitcom as funny as you did before you read this. Probably not, but it's nice to assert my self-proclaimed influence.
This joke usually involves one character saying something, and then either another character says something to contradict him, or something happens that contradicts what was just said. Sounds hilarious, right?
Lame example to illustrate my point:
Person 1: Are you sure you're smart enough to __________? This is a lot of responsibility!
Person 2: Oh yeah, of course! You have nothing to worry about!
Person 3: Person 2, why is there a fork in the electric socket again!?
*laugh track*
Seriously. Watch a sitcom and keep this in mind. You'll be amazed.
3. Cutting Corners
Sitcom writers are notoriously lazy, perhaps most infamously for leaving massive plot holes unfilled, or rushing extremely brief conclusions to elaborately developed stories.
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FOX, I'll be sending in my resume.
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