Pushing the Limits

The line between masculinity and stupidity is a permanently undefined one. As men. it is our natural-born manly duty to assert our primal alpha male dominance over all of those around us. However, we like to think that we've further progressed than our animal kingdom counterparts. As such, we often must resort to methods alternative to just beating the hell out of our peers in order to showcase this power. Usually.

So for the sake of the civilized world, the human race has found ways to create competition from most anything. Be it the match-up of hand-eye coordination in the game of ping pong, or the battle of poor eating habits in the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, we will find just about any way possible to impose our superiority.

While the obvious examples of mankinds' unbridled competitive spirit lie in the organized tournaments and sport, perhaps more common, and arguably more ridiculous displays can be found similarly in everyday male behavior. We find a way to consistently push our natural, instinctual boundaries for poops and giggles (censorship highfive!)...for example:

An ensemble of dear friends have gathered in a quaint eating establishment to share a lovely, good-natured evening together. As they share a few prodding laughs at the expense of their peers, their mildly attractive waitress sashays into view with an impossibly large tray balanced artfully upon her dainty, upturned palm. As she distributes the variously seasoned chicken wings between the patrons, she arches her eyebrow sniffing "..who ordered the mild?". Eyes scan the group expectantly, and eventually a man's reluctant hand pokes up, barely held beyond the height of his quivering chin. 
"I did." he stammers.
"You did what?"
"I ordered the mild."
The waitress drops the carton of wings in front of the emasculated man with deliberate malice before spitting in his face, then digging a stilted heel into his outstretched foot. As the waitress slips away, a single, shameful tear dilutes the sauce covering his wings. As if it needed anymore diluting.

Eating spicy food for anything but taste-bud satisfaction is ludicrous and idiotic. If you like the numbing taste of spicy foods, then by all means you can eat what you're inclined to eat. However, the idea of making yourself horribly uncomfortable, red-faced and generally in pain, just to show that you can tolerate more of being horribly uncomfortable, red-faced and generally in pain than your other alpha-male companions is really stupid.

Seriously. Our body gave us these self-imposed limits with our welfare in mind. Yeah man, you're really tough because you didn't flinch when someone stopped their fist a few inches from your face! That'll especially come in handy next time you want to fully absorb a blow to the face! You go ahead and walk on those coals, champ! Who knows when you might need these skills in a post global warming world!