Adventureland (and other not-so-great things obscured by nostalgia)

We look back on our distant childhood memories so fondly. God, Goldeneye 64 will always be the greatest videogame of all time. Man, that drop slide at Cherry Hill was so freaking tall! Wow, could I EVER run out of things to do at Adventureland?!? Even while acknowledging our age at the time, a lot of times these memories remain proportionally impressive as our time on this earth accumulates. As far as I know, Goldeneye is still the best game ever! I'd still probably piss my pants standing in line for that drop slide! Seriously, you CAN'T run out of things to do at Adventureland!

Until you go back.

Apparently, Adventureland isn't even capable of supplying
high resolution action shots. This isn't how I remember it...

There's something not just shocking, but actually scary about nostalgia-shock (coining that phrase right now). When following years of reminiscing, after you actually dust off the old Nintendo 64 and blow incessantly into that Goldeneye game cartridge, your heart actually sinks a little bit once you realize: holy shoot, this game really is pretty awful by today's standards! This slide was not even worth the line I just waited in! Adventureland is boring as hell!

Yes, it's disappointing to think one thing and find quite another, but more than that it feels wrong. Morally, you almost feel robbed. As you realize whimsical nostalgia of your innocence distorted your memory, you might begin to wonder what else has been conveniently "lost" in the rose-tinted fog of yesteryear. Was your toy chest really that big!? Could you really run THAT fast?!? Did your mom mean it when she said she loved you!?!?!

So add "memories" to that wonderful list right next to fine cheeses and expensive wine. As the years go by, you might slowly lose the bad and retain more of the good. Suddenly, you remember that Goldeneye was impossible towards the middle and you never finished it because you couldn't beat that mission in the bunker. Quickly you recollect that the drop slide ALWAYS took forever to stand in line. How did you forget that you can't spend a day at Adventureland without walking at least 5 miles? I already hate the present time enough, when thinking back, I might as well embrace my delusions of grandeur. Besides, the Silly Silo will never stop being fun.