Cigarettes and Facebook Killed Johnny's Social Skills! - or - How Human Nature at a Young Age Is Consistently Confused For Rebellion

Damn those kids! When will they ever learn?!

Eventually. Those kids will learn eventually. We all do. It seems every generation, every generation is saying the generation before them was worse than the last generation, or the generation that they were a part of. Generation. Every old man sitting on their creaky rocking chair was likely once in a potentially parallel situation as the child they are now berating with their elderly person mean-ness and 1930’s jargon, and no one seems to be able to recognize that.

But really, it's one of those inconceivably unexplainable phenomena of life. Now, mind, not unexplainable in the sense that there is no valid explanation for this; because there most definitely is, as I am currently detailing. No, instead, I mean unexplainable in the sense that no matter how many people figure it out, write a blog post about it, tie a string around their finger for sixty years, no matter what… the prejudice claims victory over logic, leaving its cold dead corpse in that waste bin where their real teeth and libido went.

It’s nothing against senior folks, blog-posting soccer moms or the newspaper columnists whose job is to make little old ladies feel alarmed enough with the goings-on of society to allow a disgustedly furrowed eyebrow, but not enough that they suffer a heart attack and die. Just like us rabble-rousing teenagers, their behavior is only a product of human nature. I don’t know what it is: a bitterly concealed jealousy of our youth, a maturely heightened sensitivity to all things awesome, a desperately needed way to channel all of the aggression built up when they stopped playing reruns of Mayberry R.F.D… who knows? All I know is that, though young people may know a bunch of old people they like, and old people may know a bunch of youngins deserving of a hair tussle, buried in our DNA is a burning hatred for each other.

It’s anything they can pick at. Those kids sure are spendin’ a bunch-a time on that there “facebooks”! I am finishing this now because I wrote this a long time ago and never finished it but I've hit 300 words and now is about passing class and throwing away my stupid pride.