Stubbing Your Toe

It starts out innocently enough. You're walking along, minding your own business, doing your best to stay out of everyone's way and avoid being a menace to society however possible when JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT THAT HURT LIKE HELL. That's right bitch. You stubbed your toe.

There is nothing comparable to stubbing your toe. Nothing. Someone walked up to me once and was totally like "Hey bro... so my parents just got killed in a freak rhino accident" and I was all like "Dude, shut up. And don't be insensitive to rhinos, I'm sure he was just strangely proportioned". Now, usually I'm not a rude person, but sometimes people can just be so inconsiderate and self-centered I just can't think of any other way to be! I just stubbed my goddamned toe! That toe is going to hurt for like, at least 10 minutes, and I didn't even deserve it! I was just walking around, minding my own business!

So with that explained, you can see why I lost it when that god awful child (not to mention a druggie; he was pale as hell and had some bag of fluid on wheels wired into his arm. you have to hand it to those heroine addicts, they really know how to innovate) came up to me trying to tell me about HIS problems. He said, "Hello sir, what are you doing in my hospital room? I was watching that". I swear to god, those exact words! Like he owned the place! Hello, earth to dumbass, you don't OWN a hospital anymore than I do! If anything, I pay taxes, so you can get the HELL out of MY hospital room, you selfish prick. If I want to watch "Bra Busters 4: Revenge of the Tits" that is no one's affair but my own.

At this point, the staff clearly sympathized with the horrible pain me and my big toe were going through, because I was then approached by staff, I assume to be taken to some sort of more intensive treatment for my horrible affliction, away from all the crack addict children, however it kind of just stopped hurting at that point so I decided I'd just leave and get something to eat (those tic tacs sitting next to the kid just weren't very filling at all).

However, those were some of the most horrifying minutes of my life, and I would do anything to forget the trauma I experienced. Now that's a good closing paragraph.