It's a debate as long lived as AIDS, or World War II. It's a paradox as unsolvable as the temperature of the sun, or how to calculate the radius of a circle. It's a crisis as unsolvable as cars, or dogs. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am of course referring to forks and spoons.
Many curmudgeons belittle the argument, shout ignorantly loud nothings like "YOU CAN REALLY JUST USE BOTH OF THEM!" or "THERE'S HONESTLY JUST NO REASON TO FEEL THAT YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM WHEN THEY'RE BOTH READILY AVAILABLE TO YOU, SERIOUSLY DUDE, YOU'RE BEING SORT OF WEIRD ABOUT THIS". But we stand tall in the face of our detractors, and take pride in our respective stances in the tense, rigidly divided sides of utensil favoritism. Personally, I am staunch in my advocacy of spoons, but I will try to provide an objective analysis encompassing both sides of this debate for your reading pleasure.
Spoons, or as us Sponokes like to call them, Spoonfarts, are their own entity separate completely from Forktits, despite what the efforts of fancy restaurant napkins may lead you to believe. Spoons are splendidly useful in many ways, including aiding in the drinking of soup, the eating of ice cream, the seamless stirring of drinks which require stirring and the ability to be used a rough measurement tool. It is probably no leap of faith to say that without spoons mankind would have likely crumbled by now.
Forks, or as the Forkanes like to call them, Forktits, are also strong in many of their own regards; though their viability in the presence of spoons is sometimes called into question. Forks are great for killing innocent children through puncture wounds, accidentally leaving in a dish you put in the microwave that leads to a minor explosion, being enlarged and wielded by the Devil in hell, and other worthwhile activity.
Really, it is totally up to you. I hope with the information I've provided, you're able to make your own educated choice between spoons or forks. Go choke on a cyanide pill.
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