Funny Sounds I Like to Make With My Mouth

I am a man of many talents. I find myself doing lots of things to kill the dead hours (then again how can you kill the dead hours!? am i right!? am i right?! come on, i am SO right!). Horseback riding, harp playing and wine tasting (i never swallow i promise) occupy the most of my time, a we all know, but even with that, I am not sure they are my favorite thing to do. In fact, it occurred to me last night while I was playing my personal favorite adaptation of 3rd Sonata while senjoying a fine glass of white Portuguese Meritage upon my trusty steed Corky that perhaps I had lost track of my true passion in life: making funny sounds with my mouth.

Making funny sounds with your mouth is quite the art form. Some people frown upon the practice (many prominent mouth noise makers are highly frowned upon in today's society, unfortunately), but this mainly comes from a dedicated practice of ignorance. People don't realize the true joy gained from making funny noises with your mouth, don't realize the skill one must possess to master the ability and don't realize the power it possesses.

Starting off with the basics, the fart noise. The fart noise is hilarious. Basically, you take your lips and clasp them together and blow air really hard and it goes "phghghghgbbbbbpt" and it totally sounds like a fart, dude. Like, you can blow a little air out of the side of your mouth and it sounds like a little baby fart, like "toot". Except not really, farts don't sound like toot, that's how they put them in comic books for some reason. I'd say baby farts sound more like "..pweet". Man, farts are so hilarious.

Next off is a classic, the babble. This one really allows you to take an artistic license and really shape your own unique skill, and for that reason it is my personal favorite. Sometimes you go like "eaaaaw", or you could totally go "baaaaaaa-rup" or "kffffp" and you can do that all with your mouth and it's still hilarious.

Those are all the types. Go home asshole.