Continuing the run of superheroes for the real world beginning with Traffic Man and Mr. Bookmark, I present two more heroes that find glory in the common man, instead of those selfish asshole "crime-fighters".
Matcho Sox - You've never been more excited for anything than you are for your date right now. She should be here any minute, you would have done anything to get a minute with this girl, and she's going out to dinner with you! You know that first impression are everything here, everything must go perfectly. With that said, you're dressed in a nice dress shirt under a fine black blazer, grey dress pants and some fancy Swiss shoes. You look fantastic. That is, until you sit down and your pants hike up at your knees, and you see it... Your socks. On your left foot is a black dress sock, pulled up to knee's length. On your right, however, is an ankle length sock, whiter than snow, adorned with a Nike logo. You're almost in tears. You know Cassandra will never love you now. WHAPPOWIE! Matcho Sox comes flying in through the window, with a black dress sock in hand. He covertly places the sock under your chair before flying back out through the window he shattered earlier. Cassandra loves your outfit, especially the socks. You get married, and have kids, if you're into that.
Dr. Pollen - You've never had a better day. The sun is shining bright, the trees are swimming in the breeze, you won the grand jackpot lottery and it's just the right temperature out! Nothing could ruin this day, until... Spring allergies, bitch. Your eyes get itchy, your nose gets stuffed. Your contacts keep wiggling in your eye and you're nasal passage is unbelievably irritated. Suddenly, you're contemplating suicide. BAZZZAAP! In comes Dr. Pollen, mad genius. In his crazy man science labs, he has devised a way to fight pollen out of the air with a super trained army of anti-pollen which he engineered himself. He releases them in the air, and pollen everywhere full beneath his feet. Not today, spring allergies.
No comments:
Post a Comment