Writing Fiction pt.1

Writing fiction is something that I want to do with my life so badly. Of course, as I know quite clearly, I will probably not do ANYTHING with my life if I don't stop fuckin' up, yo. But let me put aside the negativity for a while and seriously discuss one of the greatest passions in the world.

I strive to do something creative. I don't know how good at I am, but I feel like I have to do something creative with myself, because that's the only thing, the only ability that differentiates me from the hundred thousand million others just like me. I'm sure I'll be just fine at business, but god damnit there are a hundred thousand million men who could do exactly what I'd do in the business would and they'd never have to lift a creative pinky. And neither would I, I guess. But it's hard for me to let that part of me go.

When I was little, I was so unburdened by the realities of the world. That's not to say that every kid isn't very imaginative, but I was like bursting at the seams. I would play fantasy games every day, at recess, in the park, at home. I would invent my own narratives for my toys, like, full-fledged story lines. My best friend in pre-school was really, really big on videogames. So I invented a fake video game for him to play with toys; I was the game master. I would direct and regulate his every movement, spontaneously create a spanning, unique tale for him to transverse. It was called Tarantula Challenge. I don't know why. There were no spiders in the "game". But I played that game with him for over a year, every time he'd come over. Apparently he would talk to his mom about it at dinner with some frequency.

I got carried away with that little anecdote, but I'd hope it helps me illustrate my point. That creativity has perhaps been repressed with age, and whittled down a bit by logic, reality and maturation, but it is despite that still at large within me. The stories I have to tell are perhaps less fantastical than they were at that age, probably less unique, too. But I still have so many stories to tell. And even when I don't, I want to be telling stories anyway.